I started this blog as a mobile single woman setting out to explore the world! And figure out life and science after getting a PhD in North Carolina. It has been a minute since I posted last… A lot happened.

No longer do I have a one body problem- I have a 2 + baby body problem! The joys of academic life often limit the people you interact with to other academics and I am no exception. I found love in the most common place- the work place. But that is a story for a different post.

Admittedly, I am a fairly private person. I will tell anyone almost anything if they ask but I do not think I am interesting enough to volunteer information to my colleagues about my personal life. As a result, my baby came as somewhat of a surprise to many people. But more than my desire to keep my cards close to my chest was a deep fear of being viewed differently. I hesitated to tell people I was pregnant or to announce birth of our daughter on social media for fear that it would be held against me in job applications and hiring decisions. I also feared that people would take me less seriously. I had/ have heard of several occasions of a woman having one child and being asked when they plan for their second.

I recently updated my twitter profile (feel free to follow @hjmaclean) and began looking at other scientists’ profiles. So many male scientists proudly boast about being fathers! Like- SOOO MANY. In looking at female profiles, I saw one maybe 2 that listed “mom” as one of their attributes. Having been jokingly called “mom” by several field assistances, my PhD supervisor, and at least one (clearly ex) boyfriend, I thought- maybe it was to avoid being seen as overly caring. OR maybe I am not the only one who has all of these fears!

Gender inequality in science is REAL. In our experience, my partner was viewed as more stable and, if anything, taken more seriously by colleagues and future employers. In contrast, it was assumed that I am less willing to travel or work long hours in the lab in a recent job interview.

I have decided that it is weird to try to hide the fact we have a baby but I have not added “mom” to my twitter profile yet. There is a lot of identity and identity challenges associated with having children. There are a lot of assumptions made (be them conscious or subconscious) by those around us. The best I can do for myself and my family is to be proud of my curious, amazing, little person and hope for the best.